I have a huge announcement to make! After a lot of consideration, I've decided that I'm taking a short break from school to focus on my health and wellbeing, specifically my mental health. During this time, I'm going to write a book.
As those close to me can attest, I've struggled with anxiety practically my entire life and I've battled depression since I was a teenager. To add insult to injury, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder just last week. While this wasn't a huge shock to anyone who knows me well, it's a lot to take in. Bipolar disorder, sometimes referred to as "manic depression," is a serious mood disorder that can completely cripple your life without proper medication and therapy. Luckily I have a mental health team on my side to help me through, but this will be an on-going, lifelong hardship.
My book is about my mental health journey and experiences from childhood to adulthood. I talk about my family life, a few traumatic events that happened to me as a teenager that I've just recently begun to heal from, and how I'm moving on with my life. The idea of "Roots Before Branches" came to me after being inspired by a Glee song of the same name. The roots of any tree are what hold the whole thing together. Without roots, the tree wouldn’t be able to grow any branches.
If you cut a cross section of the trunk, you can see everything that has happened to that tree in its life. There are growth rings for each year. Any moments of drought and any fires or damages can easily be identified. The symbolism between trees and trauma is limitless. So many people think that the only way to get over hard times is to try and forget about it or bury it so deep that it’ll never surface again. But the truth is you have to accept your past and use it to help you grow stronger.
I don't know if I will officially release my book to the public due to the incredibly personal details involved, but my close friends and family members will receive a copy. However, I would like to share with you my favorite excerpt from my book thus far (I've only written two chapters):
"Imagine your [self] worth is a cup full of your favorite drink - chocolate milk, apple juice, iced coffee, etc. Every time you seek reassurance from other people or doubt yourself, a drop of liquid is removed. Little by little the cup slowly empties as time goes on. Once the cup is empty, you can no longer think for yourself or make decisions on your own. This allows other people to come in and fill your cup with their favorite liquid. It’s not your favorite, but you accept it because your cup is finally full again. "
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